Couples Therapy:

In-depth Intensive Sessions or Weekly Sessions

I offer couples therapy in two formats:  regular weekly 50-minute sessions and in-depth intensive sessions.  An Intensive is a dedicated block of 3–4 hours where a couple can do some in-depth work that is difficult to achieve in the typical 50-minute weekly framework. For more on whether intensives are right for your relationship, please go to the blog on this site.

My Approach

With couples therapy, I skillfully assess your unique relationship strengths and weaknesses, so that we can begin moving forward positively. A relationship is much like a garden, where weeds tend to grow if something else isn’t intentionally planted. My work with you will guide you in planting what you want and weeding out what is getting in the way. It’s easier and much less painful to do the weeding in an atmosphere of emotional safety.

Here’s what you can expect from doing couples counseling with me:

  • To understand what makes up your unique relationship cycle
  • To be able to stop the painful cycle in real time
  • To communicate effectively and understand each other from the heart
  • To manage the tension that arises from differences
  • To become experts at repair when your relationship needs it
  • To rediscover passion, laughter, and pleasure in your relationship

Couples often find that they have arguments with a common theme, over and over.  Usually, the reason this happens is that partners aren’t fully understanding each other’s meaning under the surface.  When we get triggered, the very organ we need to work through it, our brain, gets in the way of our understanding.  Here’s why: the alarm system in the brain goes off, and connection to the prefrontal cortex becomes limited.  The prefrontal cortex must be active so that we can hear our partners effectively while at the same time regulating our own emotions and keeping our attention on what is being said, rather than formulating a rebuttal.

In couples counseling, I use a very effective method that fosters honest communication between partners.  From the very first session, I make emotional safety a priority because without that, it’s impossible to move forward.  Couples are relieved after we start our work and often say they wish they had come in sooner.